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We all enjoyed a great Memorial Day weekend. John was excited to actually get Memorial Day off (possibly a first for him). Sunday we spent with the rest of the Millers and company from Panama. Elise is enjoying having a playmate for the week-Lucia. Monday, John and I took Elise
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It has been hard for me to post lately. I have not felt very strong or very insightful. In fact I have been feeling attacked by the evil one with doubts and confusion. But I realized that it would be meaningful to you all for me to be honest with
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Sometimes I Wish Sometimes I wish I could go back in time. Sometimes I wish I were in Little Rock sitting by my daughter's bedside. Sometimes I wish Emma had been perfectly healthy, but not often. Sometimes I wish I had a baby (preferably Emma) to show off
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"Be still and know that I am God." Ps. 46:10a Be Still I am God in the good times. I am God in the bad times. I am God when you feel sick. I am God when you are well. I am God inside and outside. I
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Here is the last blooming rose on Emma's rosebush. The name of this rose is Angel Breath. Aren't they beautiful? The bush was given to me in honor of Emma by my Aunt Cindy.
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Thank you all who acknowledged my sorrow as well as my joy on Mother's Day. Yesterday not only marked the first Mother's Day after Emma's death, but it was also the day she would have been 10 months old. I actually hadn't
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We are trying to get caught up after a busy weekend. Liza, Ben, and Megan all graduated Saturday, along with some others we know as well. Yesterday, Elise and I got to enjoy a quiet day out at Grandma's, while unfortunately John had to stay home and get
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I spent some time this afternoon transferring the rest of the posts of Emma's hospital stays from our old site to the new blog. So if you haven't read the whole story and wanted to, all the posts should be available on this blog now. You
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Emma is coming to mind a lot more these days. Where as before I could go on for several days without really thinking of her, now any little thing is enough to bring her to mind. I enjoy this reflection in a way, but it also means more tears, and
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I realize now that almost every day I utter that word from the depths of my heart: "Why, Lord. Why did you take my baby?" I don't really mean it literally, because it all seems so clear to me why Emma is not here. How can
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I realized tonight that the last time I posted was fairly depressing, so I just wanted to let everyone know that we are doing much better. The waves of sadness hit hard when they do hit, but don't last long. It seems like the sadness, when it is
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I dreamed of Emma last night for the first time in awhile. For the first few days after her death I dreamed of her every night. So needless to say, I was a very sad this morning. In my dream she was not in heaven, rather I had seemingly deserted